Winter Break

I am officially done with this winter break thing. I want to see my friends and I'm really enjoying being able to see them but every time I come home my parents are jumping down my throat at every chance they get! I made on comment about something my mom made when she was experimenting in the kitchen like 3 years ago and she is still bringing it up and how I'm so horrible and all this shit.  My father will barely talk to me for reasons unknown and no one wants to do anything but yet when I decide that I don't want to sit around anymore and go do something they make a huge fuss about me leaving and not spending time with them...wtf? In my opinion they have no right to fuss because when I do try and make the effort to be with them they wont do anything or even talk and all this is doing is making me not want to visit and I am totally ok with waiting till spring break in March to come back again.

Answers

Well in my last post I asked a question about having a feeling in your gut about your significant other and as mama always said trust your gut.  She was right er.. I guess I was right, the boy dumped me and I never did get a clear reason why...O well I guess.

But I have had an epiphany over this break.  Have you ever seen Eat. Pray. Love.? Well in her rant near the beginning she was basically telling the story of my life and I have decided that that's not who I want to be so for the first time in my life not only have I come to terms with being single I also am enjoying it. :)  (Ill throw the clip in at the bottom of this post)

Well Happy Holidays :)

So I have finally sat down for the first time today...

I have been running around like a mad woman today! Going to classes, writing papers, taking breaks on fb lol, shopping for hall council events and I'm finally done for tonight minus a floor meeting in an hour.  And now that I'm sitting here the weight of the world has just hit me and all I want to do is cry for hours.  I am fairly certain that I am just one bad comment or snide remark from a full force emotional break down.  I'm questioning some of my decisions and realizing that my jealousy problems are far worse than I thought, I am stressed over finals and all the work that needs to be done this weekend and I am freaking out about some personal stuff too.

So yeah if you don't hear from me in a few days/weeks then it means i did have my break down and i imploded.

Freedom and New Beginings

The semester is almost over!!! I really cant believe that my first semester of college is almost over, it went by so fast and so much happened! 
Well for starters I'm uber sorry for taking so long to blog again lol. So lets see I'm gonna start with school.  I think the happiest moment of my life will be tomorrow at 4:30 because it will be my last POLS class with the jerk of the universe Neil.  I've finished my EDHD class and UNIV class because I don't have finals in those classes yay!!  I am feeling really accomplished, not only am i finished with my first semester but i am finishing with all A's and B's (in POLS).
Ok on to the more fun social stuff!  So after old bf i kinda had a fling, I thought it was going to turn into something, he even told me he wanted a relationship but I told him I wanted to wait a bit to make sure it was something I really wanted and wasn't me just needing someone after my breakup.  When i finally thought I was ready to be with him he changes his mind and now he barely talks to me. Now he is acting pissy so i have decided to stop caring all together.  If you are friends with me on fb my status currently is about him.  But on a happier note I have a friend, more than a friend he was one of my best friends all through high school.  Well i skyped him and almost cried my eyes out haha I told him everything that was bothering me especially boys lol, the worst part though was while I was talking to him I realized the one guy and just used me...what an ass lol.  The next day my friend told me that he was gonna visit me that coming weekend because he needed to cheer me up.  When he got here and I gave him a hug i could feel all the little broken pieces of my heart being picked up and for the first time in so long put back where they belonged.  He makes me so happy and I know he isn't trying to use me and he wont hurt me. 
Needless to say he is now my boyfriend and things are looking up. :)

I hope you all have a very merry holiday season and that you get everything you have wished for this year, I know I have :)  

This I Believe

I Believe in Second Chances

            When I was a freshman in high school.  It was a new world, it was scary, exciting and I loved it.  I was an average kid, I wasn’t depressed but I was happy go lucky, I was just average.  I had taken all honors classes and I did spend time with friends but I mostly spent time on my school work to make sure I had all A’s.          

            I had struggled all year with chronic bronchitis but being born an asthmatic this wasn’t that strange for me.  But three weeks before spring I caught it again, but it didn’t get better.  After a week of getting worse and worse my doctor diagnosed me with pneumonia but it was mild enough that I could stay home.  A few days later I had go to the hospital because none of the medicines were helping.  The doctors at the hospital told my parents that with the pneumonia I also had staff inside of my lungs.  He also told them that it was a new strain that they had to experiment on to find a cure and if an antibiotic was not found in 3-4 days they did not expect me to make it. I was in that hospital for three days before an antibiotic was made for me, by the end of those three days I could feel the life draining from me and I had come to terms with the fact that it was my time.  But somehow it wasn’t, somehow those doctors were able to save my life.  There have been long term effects of this experience that I have had to deal with, but this experience has made me who I am today.  

            Before this happened I was quiet and not very social, but I was given a second chance.  When you go through a life threating experience such as that it changes you, sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse.  I like to think I came out better.  I am happier and I find more value in the things I do and I always try my best to do my absolute best.       

            I feel like everyone should go through an experience where they come out feeling that they have been given a second chance.  I hope they no one has to find that feeling through the means that I did but I do believe that finding that second chance helped me find myself.  I am the person I am today because of it.  I have realized that it is just as important to have a social connection with people as it is to be studious.

            I believe in second chances, and to me what that means is we all deserve a chance to view the world in a new light.  There are so many ways to do this, some are positive and some are not but hopefully when it is done and over with your view of this world will be better and brighter.  This change can happen in anything we do, it can be a teacher taking you aside and letting you retake a test you failed, it could be a life threating experience like I had; it could be finding yourself in religion, or finding new friends. This list is endless; you can find hope and the strength to find that second chance for yourself in anything you do. 

This I believe.

A Friend

I have a friend, that I've had for a long long time.  He is like the big brother I never had.  He is kind and caring and always knows what to say.  Talking to him always makes my day.

So for you my dearest friend  I love you and can't wait to see you again :)

Life

Life is hard, period end of story...

Hate

What is hate?  Hate is when trust is gone.  Hate is when you are sad or mad more than you are happy.  Hate is when they make you cry and cry and cry but haven't a way to help you stop or haven't the motivation to try.  When hurtful things are said that can never be taken back, and no effort is put in to try and make it right.

But can you love without a little bit of hate?  If not how much hate can you have to still make it work?

Love & Hate

He tells me that he loves me, that I'm his moon and sun, and when we are together we are perfect, we are one.   But then I go away again to the hollowed halls of learning and suddenly that perfect couple seems to lack that yearning he spoke of before.  Simple things become venom and tempers rise, I didn't know something was wrong, I didn't know you were opposed, has this been happening for very long?  And when the anger dies and we talk it out things are perfect and surreal, you become the stars that light my night and I your moon and sun.  Life is perfect and I am as happy as can be.  A simple request or a misunderstanding happens again and like before the dark parts of our hearts emerge and the cycle begins anew.  Why do we play this game of love and hate?  Why do we choose to live through the tears and laughs?  Why why why? 

Well...every time I go to bed, tears or smiles, I know in my heart that I love you even in times of hate...that is why... 

College...

So last night after bowling with some friends I return to my dorm with the people I went bowling with to find some of my friends totally shit faced.  It was appalling!  On of my friends couldn't walk and needed to be carried.  Another was unable to shut up or control his thoughts and then the one I really like one of my really good friends said so truly hurtful and inappropriate things.
I do NOT care if you are drunk!  When you are drunk you say the things you are always thinking but keep to yourself, she did not do this and she was hurtful.  So I hope you had fun, I hope that one night was worth the friendship you have lost, I hope you are happy with yourself and are able to look at yourself in the mirror everyday...

Happy Day!!!

Ok so one of my friends is sick :( so I decided to make a happy post to life his spirits and make him feel less crapy!  YAY :)
Ok so here's a list of happy things!
PUPPIES!!!
Daises! what you can be sad when you have one...
Neon colors!
Cookies (made by mom!)
Not campus food! That's FREE!
Techno music... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjf_Uxuwxrc)
Friends and family!
Life :)
COLORING BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!

If you have more to add feel free...I'm drawing a blank right now lol

Hope you have a happy day!!!!!!

Sunday mornings rain is falling...

Yes I am aware that it is 3:45 but I woke up at noon so it's still kinda morning for me.  Last night watched the back up plan, omg so good!  I think I went to bed at 2:30ish maybe idk.  I did get Domino's last night it was awesome and I colored a Disney princess picture for my bf.  Its so cute!

Talking about bfs, they are so adorable!  They care about you and understand you in ways you never even knew possible and yesterday he asked my opinion on promise rings, I almost died of happiness! (line from Pride and Prejudice!! So want to watch that movie now)  I told him that I loved the idea but I want to wait for a few years just so that it wont put a strain on our relationship.  (was that a good idea? I hope so)  But the thought was just so sweet, and it's moments like that that just make my day so much better and steals my breath away.

In other news I think I found my roommates for next year!  It's gonna be a 4 room suite with 2 baths and a common area!  So excited!!!!!

That's all for now! Leave me comments tell me whatca think about anything on my blogs life in general ask a question but i reserve the right to deny you an answer lol :)

Homecoming Weekend

So I've been away for a while but Ill catch you up real fast.  Me and my bf are good we worked everything out and I still love him as much or maybe even more than I ever did.  That test that was so horrible (and it was awful) was curved by 20% just to prove how bad it was the test had to be curved by 2 letter grades.  Anyway this curve brought me up to a B woo!  So not so mad now.
It is homecoming weekend, I was in the parade yesterday as a flapper woo!  It was a lot of fun.  I also went out last night to a dance party and danced for a while then me and my friends went to waffle house cuz what else do you do at 1:30 in the am?  Today is the game but it is cold and rainy and I am just getting over a cold so...guess who is not going? ME!!!

Around 6 today my friend will be getting back from work and me and him are going to watch a movie and order Domino's!! I have a coupon for a pick 3 items for $10!!! I'm so pumped for not campus food lol.

So now we are up to speed.  Hope you enjoy your day who ever you are! :)

Sigh...

So have you ever had on of those horrible days when you really just want someone to hug you and tell you everything is fine and you're right they are such a**holes!  That was yesterday for me.  I didn't sleep the night before because i was studying (o and try this http://quizlet.com/ it'll save your life lol) and i knew everything on the study guide and some extra things from my notes and I'm pretty sure I can take the test.  I get the test...only about 2 questions were from the study guide.  Most were on countries we never even talked about!!
And after my test I wanted to cry!  I have never been so affected by a test!  So I was chatting on skype with my bf and yeah I know he'll probably read this but he pissed me off.  So I was upset over the test and on top of that I was pissed off so I decided to go to a friend's house with one of his friends to set up a fish tank for his sisters b-day.  It was perfect, I felt alot better until I started texting and boom I was pissed off again and sad grrrrr.  And now it's like I want to talk to him but every time I text him I get annoyed again gah!  What should I do???

Ok yeah that's it...

Good Morning!

Good morning world!!!!  So this is my morning song, you can't be sad listening to it you just can't, and it reminds me of someone I really care about so win win :)  And yes I am aware that the ending is a bit sad...but the song itself is happy

Enjoy!


Basshunter Every Morning

Here come's the sun...

What a perfectly wonderful day.  Who doesn't love a good Monday?  I know what you're thinking no one!  But really Mondays are great they are a new beginning, what happened in the past weekend or week is done and over with and you now have another week top try it out all over again, hopefully you learned from the mistakes made the week before.  It's refreshing to start a new week :)

This weekend was amazing!  I got back Friday night and I made it to the football game at the high school just in time to watch the band preform.  It was great and I loved getting to see my high school friends!  On Saturday I started my day seeing my boyfriend, we went to get ice cream then to the park then to the lake.  After spending time with him I went to get lunch with my old color guard instructor.  She is a great person and I really enjoyed her company and catching up.
After lunch my dad and I went to see resident Evil 4!!!  It was so good, they totally left themselves open for #5 which means another movie day with my dad :)
Sunday was a nice cool day and my family and I went to Cedar Point!!! It was so nice to spend time with my family before I came back and I love Cedar Point :)

That's it for now :) 

Rainy Day

So today it rained...hard.  Nevertheless it was still a rather productive day.  I made it to my morning class early woo!  My alarm clocks were left alone (thank you Joey) After class I had a 5 hour break before my next class.  So I did laundry, took a shower and finished my homework for tomorrow and Monday.  While I was doing this it started to rain and it was very calming :) 
I changed into my rain boots and rain coat and off to the wonderful world of stats class.  Even with my rain gear I was soaked through everywhere that my coat didn't cover.  So I was just a bit cold in my stats class.
In class we took a quiz, and honestly I am just waiting for college to become challenging because right now I am almost to the point of boredom with how easy my classes are. 
I made a Tye-Dy shirt today :) it is gonna be sweet!!!!
I skyped with my friend for about an hour <3 (It was great seeing you sweetie) and I talked to my family fro a while too.  OH and I'm going home tomorrow!!!! Band-o-rama is Saturday night and Sunday I am off to Cedar Point  and I think I get to see my friend Saturday.

So all in all it was a good rainy day

I hope you all don't mind the randomness of all these posts lol  hope you find my life's rambolings on interesting enough to keep reading :)  P.S please forgive mis-spellings and type-os

Ghost stories and strange happens on...

Ok first off my dorm is haunted...like for real.  Before Kohl hall was built there was a bakery here.  There was a 7yr old named Joey who was playing hide-n-seek and while he was hiding a fire started in the bakery and Joey died in the fire.  Well now he haunts the halls of Kohl.

Ok so when I first heard this I thought o haha upperclassmen trying to feak out the freshmen its no big deal...WRONG!  Last week I had a cold and I was drinking hot tea like it was going out of style.  I keep my box of tea bags on my shelf infront of my computer.  I went to heat up watter and turned my back on the box of tea for literally 1min when i went back to my desk the box was gone.  I looked everywhere including my pantry which is on top of my closet.  I was talking to one of my friends (<3) at the time and he said OH NO it was the ghost.  He was joking of course but I really wanted my tea so I sat down and said Joey if you took my tea please give it back I really need it.  Remember he's only 7.  After I said that I stood up and looked in my pantry again and there was my tea, in the far back corner under my cleaning supplies.  I couldn't have put it there i had to stand on my dresser on my tippy-toes just to reach it.
So that's story one

Story Two
On Mondays I go to Toledo Public schools and teach.  The bus leaves at 7:30am.  Yesterday would have been my first day.  I set 3 alarms on my phone, my roommate set one on her phone and we have a normal alarm clock too.  I must have checked my phone alarms 6 or 7 times before i went to sleep to make sure they were on right.  I wake up at 8ish same as my roommate...we both missed the bus and she missed work when we looked at our alarms they had all been turned off.  We don't know how it happened but it did.  Last night I asked Joey not to mess with my alarms and they worked fine this morning  but it was freaky.

So that's all I have for now.  There will probably be more Joey stories later :)

Hello

Hello World! Well today is the start of my blogging.  Why did I decide to start you ask?  Well that's easy...I really don't know!!!!  I have a friend who does, and we had to make one for a class I'm taking so I decided to make one for myself and now here I am woo!!!!  I haven't a clue if anyone will read these or who will possibly care but I'm gonna try this and I shall share my adventures!!  So I hope you (whoever you are) will enjoy.  I shall add more later.  :)
<3