Winter Break

I am officially done with this winter break thing. I want to see my friends and I'm really enjoying being able to see them but every time I come home my parents are jumping down my throat at every chance they get! I made on comment about something my mom made when she was experimenting in the kitchen like 3 years ago and she is still bringing it up and how I'm so horrible and all this shit.  My father will barely talk to me for reasons unknown and no one wants to do anything but yet when I decide that I don't want to sit around anymore and go do something they make a huge fuss about me leaving and not spending time with them...wtf? In my opinion they have no right to fuss because when I do try and make the effort to be with them they wont do anything or even talk and all this is doing is making me not want to visit and I am totally ok with waiting till spring break in March to come back again.

Answers

Well in my last post I asked a question about having a feeling in your gut about your significant other and as mama always said trust your gut.  She was right er.. I guess I was right, the boy dumped me and I never did get a clear reason why...O well I guess.

But I have had an epiphany over this break.  Have you ever seen Eat. Pray. Love.? Well in her rant near the beginning she was basically telling the story of my life and I have decided that that's not who I want to be so for the first time in my life not only have I come to terms with being single I also am enjoying it. :)  (Ill throw the clip in at the bottom of this post)

Well Happy Holidays :)

So I have finally sat down for the first time today...

I have been running around like a mad woman today! Going to classes, writing papers, taking breaks on fb lol, shopping for hall council events and I'm finally done for tonight minus a floor meeting in an hour.  And now that I'm sitting here the weight of the world has just hit me and all I want to do is cry for hours.  I am fairly certain that I am just one bad comment or snide remark from a full force emotional break down.  I'm questioning some of my decisions and realizing that my jealousy problems are far worse than I thought, I am stressed over finals and all the work that needs to be done this weekend and I am freaking out about some personal stuff too.

So yeah if you don't hear from me in a few days/weeks then it means i did have my break down and i imploded.

Freedom and New Beginings

The semester is almost over!!! I really cant believe that my first semester of college is almost over, it went by so fast and so much happened! 
Well for starters I'm uber sorry for taking so long to blog again lol. So lets see I'm gonna start with school.  I think the happiest moment of my life will be tomorrow at 4:30 because it will be my last POLS class with the jerk of the universe Neil.  I've finished my EDHD class and UNIV class because I don't have finals in those classes yay!!  I am feeling really accomplished, not only am i finished with my first semester but i am finishing with all A's and B's (in POLS).
Ok on to the more fun social stuff!  So after old bf i kinda had a fling, I thought it was going to turn into something, he even told me he wanted a relationship but I told him I wanted to wait a bit to make sure it was something I really wanted and wasn't me just needing someone after my breakup.  When i finally thought I was ready to be with him he changes his mind and now he barely talks to me. Now he is acting pissy so i have decided to stop caring all together.  If you are friends with me on fb my status currently is about him.  But on a happier note I have a friend, more than a friend he was one of my best friends all through high school.  Well i skyped him and almost cried my eyes out haha I told him everything that was bothering me especially boys lol, the worst part though was while I was talking to him I realized the one guy and just used me...what an ass lol.  The next day my friend told me that he was gonna visit me that coming weekend because he needed to cheer me up.  When he got here and I gave him a hug i could feel all the little broken pieces of my heart being picked up and for the first time in so long put back where they belonged.  He makes me so happy and I know he isn't trying to use me and he wont hurt me. 
Needless to say he is now my boyfriend and things are looking up. :)

I hope you all have a very merry holiday season and that you get everything you have wished for this year, I know I have :)  

This I Believe

I Believe in Second Chances

            When I was a freshman in high school.  It was a new world, it was scary, exciting and I loved it.  I was an average kid, I wasn’t depressed but I was happy go lucky, I was just average.  I had taken all honors classes and I did spend time with friends but I mostly spent time on my school work to make sure I had all A’s.          

            I had struggled all year with chronic bronchitis but being born an asthmatic this wasn’t that strange for me.  But three weeks before spring I caught it again, but it didn’t get better.  After a week of getting worse and worse my doctor diagnosed me with pneumonia but it was mild enough that I could stay home.  A few days later I had go to the hospital because none of the medicines were helping.  The doctors at the hospital told my parents that with the pneumonia I also had staff inside of my lungs.  He also told them that it was a new strain that they had to experiment on to find a cure and if an antibiotic was not found in 3-4 days they did not expect me to make it. I was in that hospital for three days before an antibiotic was made for me, by the end of those three days I could feel the life draining from me and I had come to terms with the fact that it was my time.  But somehow it wasn’t, somehow those doctors were able to save my life.  There have been long term effects of this experience that I have had to deal with, but this experience has made me who I am today.  

            Before this happened I was quiet and not very social, but I was given a second chance.  When you go through a life threating experience such as that it changes you, sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse.  I like to think I came out better.  I am happier and I find more value in the things I do and I always try my best to do my absolute best.       

            I feel like everyone should go through an experience where they come out feeling that they have been given a second chance.  I hope they no one has to find that feeling through the means that I did but I do believe that finding that second chance helped me find myself.  I am the person I am today because of it.  I have realized that it is just as important to have a social connection with people as it is to be studious.

            I believe in second chances, and to me what that means is we all deserve a chance to view the world in a new light.  There are so many ways to do this, some are positive and some are not but hopefully when it is done and over with your view of this world will be better and brighter.  This change can happen in anything we do, it can be a teacher taking you aside and letting you retake a test you failed, it could be a life threating experience like I had; it could be finding yourself in religion, or finding new friends. This list is endless; you can find hope and the strength to find that second chance for yourself in anything you do. 

This I believe.

A Friend

I have a friend, that I've had for a long long time.  He is like the big brother I never had.  He is kind and caring and always knows what to say.  Talking to him always makes my day.

So for you my dearest friend  I love you and can't wait to see you again :)

Life

Life is hard, period end of story...